1. Choose a Private, Calm Setting

Find a time and place where you won’t be rushed or interrupted. Privacy helps people feel safer opening up. If you believe the situation is urgent, don’t wait—skip ahead to getting immediate help.

2. Lead With Care and Concern

Begin by sharing what you’ve noticed and why you’re worried. Be specific and gentle.

You might say:

• “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed really down lately, and I care about you. I wanted to check in and see how you’re doing.”
• “You’ve been going through a lot, and I want you to know you don’t have to handle it alone.”

   

3. Ask Directly About Suicide

It’s a common myth that asking about suicide will put the idea in someone’s head. Research shows that asking directly can actually bring relief—it lets the person know they’re not alone and that it’s okay to talk about what they’re feeling.

You can ask simply:

• “Have you had thoughts about hurting yourself or ending your life?”
• “Are you thinking about suicide?”

   

4. If They’re Not Ready to Talk, Keep the Door Open

If the person isn’t comfortable opening up to you, encourage them to talk with someone they trust—a family member, teacher, counselor, or therapist. Let them know you’re still there and ask if it’s okay to check in again.

You can also seek guidance yourself from a mental health professional about next steps.

5. Stay Calm if They Say Yes

Hearing “yes” can be scary, but try to remain steady. Suicidal thoughts don’t always mean someone is in immediate danger, and your calm presence can help them feel safer. Focus on listening rather than reacting.

6. Listen and Validate Their Feelings

Avoid trying to fix the problem or talk them out of their feelings. Statements meant to encourage can sometimes feel dismissive.

Avoid saying:

• “You have so much to live for.”
• “Everyone would be devastated without you.”
• “Just try to stay positive.”

Instead, try:

• “That sounds incredibly painful. I’m really glad you told me.”
• “I may not have the answers, but I’m here with you.”
• “What you’re feeling matters, and you don’t have to go through it alone.”

7. Help Them Connect to Professional Support

If someone is thinking about suicide, professional help is essential. You don’t have to do this alone.

You might say:

• “Let’s find someone trained to help, like a therapist or school counselor.”
• “There are confidential crisis lines with counselors who really understand this—would you like me to stay with you while you reach out?”

   

8. Don’t Agree to Keep This a Secret

If someone is at risk, keeping their thoughts secret can be dangerous. They may feel upset initially, but your responsibility is to prioritize their safety and well-being.

9. Get Immediate Help if There’s a Safety Risk

If the person seems in immediate danger—through what they say, their behavior, or concerning posts online—take action right away.

You can:

• Help them contact their therapist, if they have one
• Call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, together
• Contact 988 yourself if they won’t
• Take them to the nearest emergency room
• Call 911 if there is immediate risk and explain it’s a mental health crisis

Stay with them until they are safely connected to support whenever possible.

10. Take Care of Yourself Too

Supporting someone through suicidal thoughts can be emotionally exhausting. Make sure you also reach out to someone you trust or seek support from a therapist. Caring for yourself allows you to continue showing up for others in a healthy way.